BREATHE!!!

Yeah, that's right.

And chill.

HAVe A NICE dAY, make peace around you. 

unresponsibility is so appealing, i cant help but wanting it.

sometimes things just gets more complicated. 

I DO NOT LIKE THAT.

am I childish?

Yes, one of my obstacles in life is that i don't want to make life changing decisions.  

Like, where to live, what to do for a living, committing to some other human. 

And then my surroundings asks me to make these decisions quickly and i get stressed out.  Damned.  I could have had a nice day, then serious shit that needs to be done, or decided about, takes all the fun away.  Guess i'm grown up anyway...

not to give up!

I made such an awful fool of myself at work today.  It lasted for hours.  I just couldn't stop.

I'm thoroughly happy that good friends can ease my mind with non-rational logic,

"it always goes better!"  "it will be better with more experience" "everyone has bad days" (that one's true, but it's not always work that has caused the problem.  But self-embarassement is usually a part of it for anyone slightly self conscious)

These things one tells each other to comfort and reestablish a broken harmony is usually sometimes true, so i fall for the positivity and decide to keep on fighting and not just stop everything and move to the street to avoid taking responsibility for my own life and my own actions.  There is people who are affected by my being an idiotic human being, so i should at least make an effort trying to do better, - i'll still fuck it up too often, but the idea that i'm trying is gonna keep my friends my friends for a longer time!

After all, society is the core of internet, had there been no society, we'd not need to impress people (and hence no need for internet).  

no no no.

I went out drinking yesterday.  It was fun for a couple of hours, but later it started to be strenuous.  We got tired, and nobody had anything to talk about but their own pathetic artistic challenges.  YOU ARE NOT AN ARTIST IF YOUR PROFESSION IS TO DRINK TOO MUCH AND WINE ABOUT YOUR LACK OF SUCCESS!

I'm now regretting these waisted hours.

And i woke up and read an article about the intelligence decline that's been going on since the 1850.
That's just sad, are we suppose to sit in the future, talking stupidity to each other day in and day out?
I'm not looking forward to that.

But why didn't i just go home earlier?  It's my eternal optimism (something radically cool might happen) in combination with the reduced judgement due to the quantity of beer.   I lost again.

Damned. This is far to stupid.  I'll go to the library now, to ease my bad consciousness. (*lol) (*weeping)

changing everyone?

My darlings,

How to live with people whom differ with great intensity from what you are yourself?

This might be a difficult situation.

But this situation is omnipotent.  We are always different from each other.  We need to just deal with it. 

sometimes relaxing feels like waisting time badly.

All i wanted to do was to relax and regain my energy.  I watched an explicity violent action film, and after i surfed the internet looking to satisfy my ego-projection needs by writing nonsense blogposts over themes that aren't really relevant to anyone.

I guess i'm pretty stressed out to even think about these things.

distracted

Why is it always harder to concentrate when one's got too much needed to be done?

just asking....

i love theory! (...)

! je !

am madly reading theory

seems infinitely interesting

I'm afraid i'm a lucky person!

It's so rewarding to discover almost un- but still graspable systems.  

RULES

new year

It was time to contemplate what had been, and how to do what differently, ways to improve, things to adapt to, what to stop doing and something good to start.

Then second of January came on a monday and we all had to stop thinking and get back to the routine.

routine living.  


maybe it's time to take back the mondays, just think about other stuff while suppose to calculate calculations.

Everybody knows stress is bad for you.

But thinking isn't.  I saw this really weird mexican music video on youtube.  I can't retrieve it, unfortunately.  I did not understand the lyrics, but the pictures of a man going around dragging things (cars, tools, threes, and other kinds of huge and heavy stuff) with a hang man rope around his neck was clear enough.  Stress was killing him.  Maybe if he had some time to reflect he would be less stressed.

And the former criminal who had put he's life straight told in the radio that it was in prison he had time to think about life and stuff and that's why he ended up changing from bad to a good guy using all he's experience as a gang leader to help kids become their best.


that's equally beautiful and rear.

Thinking is necessary!