I am worried about being locked to so much responsibilities and duties that there will be no escape. How can one aim for an artistic career if one doesn't have the freedom to follow the opportunities that arises along the road?
But it's better for me personally if my surroundings respect me. IM A PROUD PERSON WHO DOES'NT CARE TO BE REGARDED A LOOSER.
IT'S NOT THE JOB I WANT. BUT WHO IS TO CLAIME THEIR DREAM JOB.
good luck to everybody! it's a proper puzzle making a good life, but i believe it can be done!
12.05.2010
What is it all about?
From time to time i struggle with who i am and what my role is in the world, in my society, in my family, whats the meaning with me? is really my question.
Sometimes i try to make a "normal" life, have a relationship, aim towards making a family and a home and such. But i don't think i try that hard, a lot of the time this is not what i want, it's just my genetic consciousness telling me to stress because i have no offspring. In stead i like to make a difference by being me, and my art. More so than making a difference i think i enjoy making life enjoyable, having good times with everyone. And this is in spite of my living already a 30thy years (and the expectations i'm fronted with from family and society is that by now i should feel super stressed!!! I have the occasional fit of stress over this, but mainly it's not an issue and not bothersome anyway - except from in social gatherings that includes people of all ages and often also children. Hence, i deduce, the "normal" life is not something i long for, should it have been my dream i would either have done something about it earlier, or i would be obsessive over this, or non functioning because of this.
Does this make me shallow?
Does this make me an hedonist?
Does this make me egocentric?
Well no one can have it all at the same time, am i disposing my time backwards?
there are no big problems related to this issue, as i'm happy and going somewhat in a direction i like, so seriously why does it sometimes pose as the unanswerable question in my life?
Sometimes i try to make a "normal" life, have a relationship, aim towards making a family and a home and such. But i don't think i try that hard, a lot of the time this is not what i want, it's just my genetic consciousness telling me to stress because i have no offspring. In stead i like to make a difference by being me, and my art. More so than making a difference i think i enjoy making life enjoyable, having good times with everyone. And this is in spite of my living already a 30thy years (and the expectations i'm fronted with from family and society is that by now i should feel super stressed!!! I have the occasional fit of stress over this, but mainly it's not an issue and not bothersome anyway - except from in social gatherings that includes people of all ages and often also children. Hence, i deduce, the "normal" life is not something i long for, should it have been my dream i would either have done something about it earlier, or i would be obsessive over this, or non functioning because of this.
Does this make me shallow?
Does this make me an hedonist?
Does this make me egocentric?
Well no one can have it all at the same time, am i disposing my time backwards?
there are no big problems related to this issue, as i'm happy and going somewhat in a direction i like, so seriously why does it sometimes pose as the unanswerable question in my life?
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