WHO ARE YOU?

if you know who you are i'd be interested in knowing.

If you don't know who you are i'm sorry to say that you are just one of the rest of us, sitting in bars being insecure and putting on a sherade trying really hard to impress others by projecting something we'd like to see in others, only because we don't really know how we would act if we were allowed to fill our own shoes for once.

we are so many.

This is a freakin Diary!

And i'm so gonna say fuck you to all the people who are now incredibly surprised to see what i spend my days doing,  WAS IT THAT HARD TO COMPREHEND?  (i make art) and i'm so gonna boost my own ego now until it explodes and falls like pieces of a bombed watermelon upon all of yous who spent your youth days with me only to build your self up by breaking me down.  HOW COME I NEVER BELIEVED I COULD DO ANYTHING, WHEN ALL I CAN IS TO DO STUFF!  (i make music)  the challenge about music and art is that there exists simultaneously totally different styles and expressions, BUT THEY ARE EQUALLY VALID.  the competition starts, its all about getting your self out there first, and more spectacularly than the others.  WELL DUDES FROM MY PAST, NOW YOUR COVERED IN sticky WATERMELON STUFF (does that really give me the upper hand?)

(in a much softer voice):
remember that we don't know what it's about.  But certainly it aint about me getting revenge over some poor innocent friends of mine from years ago, that's so definitively not what art is about.  That's what vengeance is about.  vengeance might sometimes be necessary but it's never art, even though it might be artfully done.

What's it about

eeh, the question is not whats it about, it has to be specified for whom is what about (or something like that)

well.  I was contemplating how bad i feel my attempts at doing serious work has been lately.  The other way around i've been doing heeps of unserious work.  Then i get to think, just because there are serious stuff i could do, which potentially gives lots of cred, power and maybe even some money, this doesn't mean it's for me to do those things.  I just want to be happy and have a splendid life filled with laughter, love, people, meetings, anything enjoyable, conscious and humanistic - stuff that develops society towards a friendlier one just by means of making interaction happen on basis of good stuff.  dancing, talking, being interested, laughing together, solving problems and getting it on ... lets not exclude anything.

So what it's about for me is maybe not being king of the intellectual comprehension of my segment in the world of workers, IT MIGHT BE to fill an other roll, somewhat downscaled when it comes to intellectual cred and such, but totally upscaled when it comes to making people have a good life!

As I was always told to have brains, i'm fairly surprised to figure this out, and the idea of not striving for the top notch ever possible seems strange, how can i not want to be the best?  But the impact of this tiny revolution is even more extensive,  it changes the market in which i'm going to make a living.  To a strange one, i'm not comfy there yet.

We'll see what it'll be about.  i'm definitively totally changing my mind every second.

something is definitively not right, one only rethinks life in situations when things could be easier...

well, life aint about music, thats definitively.   Or maybe it is?  Maybe the only way to stay happy is to work with music.  So, if you aint in that particular position you should conclude that you are not working hard enough.  alternatively, you are swallowing your sorrows with beers or other substansces that really doesnt work to your advantage (evil spiral of making your self incapable of working with music).  Or you're spending all your time doing the wrong jobs and you are totally captured in the world of money. 

Or maybe it's not about music.  Maybe it's only about you missing your lover.  Maybe you don't know how to unmiss your lover.   It might be as simple as that.

How can one possibly know what's it about?

Oh, it's crazy, the world, it really is.

It's even double-crazy, that's how crazy the world is!

to know what you want

I need to want some results!

Demanding something, and knowing what one demands, of one self makes an interesting framework for making the most of being.  Knowing what results one are after is the equivalent of being in control of one self, and then (ops i just remembered that not all results are as good as the next one, some results are perverted and unhealthy.) successfully being something one are proud of. (btw I believe the perverted results only are wanted by yourself if you are not able to really see where your capacities really lie.  But don't worry, don't worry at all, everybody's got some capacities to be proud of, to develop, to make good with, to have other people be proud of.  If you are not able to see your own capacities you should seek help to look for them, because they are there! oh so definitively.)

!dance dance dance!

don't forget to dance!
put on some lovely tunes and move!!!

***enjoy***

be the best you can

First i started with a long unnecessary speach,
then i realized it wasn't needed,


my message is this.


jealousy is mean stuff, 


AVOID JEALOUSY


DEAL WITH JEALOUSY


BE THE BEST YOU CAN.  BE THE BEST YOU CAN.


Acting upon ones jealousy is not being the best you can, be better!


I tried to add a sentence about how you can sometimes be allowed to be angry/whatever act out something you feel like.  BUT I COULDN'T, ITS NOT POSSIBLE TO MAKE SUCH A SENTENCE AND STILL KEEP FOCUS ON BEING BETTER THAN JEALOUSY!  always be the best you can, any less is inconvenient for everyone.

Explanation of the past post. apologies to anyone who read or considered reading that kind of rambelling

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN BLOGGING WITHOUT THINKING, SUBJECTS ARE ABSOLUTELY OUT OF ORDER, TO LARGE FOR THIS FORMAT, CONTENTING NOTHING, AND I'M TO IMPATIENT TO EXPLAIN EVERYTHING PROPERLY as well as THE NEED FOR personal EXPOSURE TIES DOWN EVERY RATIONAL THOUGHT OR INTENT TOWARDS ANALYSIS AND RuBS THEM FIRMLY TO THE GROUND SO THEY CANNOT BE HEARD THROUGH THE RAW  MOIST SOIL WITH AUDIO-DAMPENING QUALITIES - YES BECAUSE THOUGHTS REALLY DO SCREAM IF YOU TRY TO TIE THEM DOWM.  

First class rambeling

Weather a day was good or just another one of those mediocre ones is never a hidden fact, we think. We think this information is immediate.  you can not avoid knowing what your day is like. Still, it's dawning upon me that this day was yet another good one!  What happened? I started out having bad feelings about this day, based on my level of tiredness in combination with the amount of things that are due done last week.  How come i couldn't really realize this until now, hours later than "this day" (possibly already tomorrow...), is this feeling of having had a really good day the truth, or is it some random effect shining onto me based on the fact that i'm in a really good mood now?  or am i?  how can one be in a really good mood with only worries regarding life?  or is blogging fulfilling?  or maybe work is rewarding to greater extents than ever believed?  or or or or perhaps its the sugar.  or (this feels bad writing) it's the reminder of that my life is at least better than your's, scrolling over some of my more periphery fb-friends, thinking that really, it aint that bad at all.  As long as the knowing that it could have been worse is underlined and truth-prooved by empirical study subjects.... Maybe this is the reason for my well being.  Thinking of this I don't feel that good anymore.  So was my day really that good?

facts about l-d

what really happens is unrevealed until some later epiphany occurs.   this is normal and it's one of the most annoying sides of experiencing a total latencydelay.

BTW, There is always latency.  you can regulate the delay by regulating your own momentary awareness. however how to do this is highly individual and therefor I can't - unfortunately not - give the proper instructions.  Everyone for himself kind of principle.  GOOD LUCK!

non adequate latency delay

This is the english response blog to the snær ting man kan tenke på.  the only real correlation is the inconsistency in the text substance and the from time to time huge discrepancy between whats written and what the author means.  THE TEXT IS MASTER NOT THE AUTHOR.  The latency delay is a result of this exact process, the author not being in charge and so forth not properly comprehending his own words until after - or perhaps, in some rare occasions - never.

Thats not really the only correlation, there is also a visual basic idea - or not so much an idea as a necessity THE USE OF CAPITAL and these kinds of letters to underlay the temper of the author.

... and we have successfully surpassed the first example of the latencydelay!  welcome!